n Systems , a company that boasts being in business for 32 years.They are so touchingly enthusiastic that I try not to laugh.I am already so out of my depth, I’m not even sure whether this incentive is reasonable or not.There is no shortage of charm: One booth attendant makes fun of me for taking notes then asks when I am getting married.worst frickin’ weekend to get married.Apparently this is because everyone is getting married that weekend, so he is all booked up.Interior design melts into photography, and suddenly we are facing rows of videographers, photograph albums and photo booths.I have a photographer lined up, but I can’t help but go through the exquisite look books.I finally get excited when I see a guest book made of engagement photos.I cry, jabbing at the pages.the attendant responds.Wedding shows have always appealed to me for two reasons: free magazines, and free cake.When we walk by the display for i-Cakes I am not disappointed.are available in whatever flavour you choose, with gluten-free, nut-free, trans-fat free and dairy-free options.a four-tiered cake with buttercream icing and frosted daisies in pastel shades adorning each tier.Another vendor has displayed gorgeous hand-painted cakes, one of which looks like a sari with a customized bride and groom on top.This would be amazing!says Lara, in reference to my Indian background.Maybe you can even have a second cake representing Mark’s Polish heritage.I say doubtfully, a fleeting image of a giant pierogie topped with fondant crossing my mind.We sample some red velvet cake and I feel like I might swoon.I mumble, between mouthfuls.The experience has been surprisingly agreeable until now.I have been entering contests (liberally distributing my phone number and email address , which I know I will regret later) and accepting business cards and brochures with smiles and cheerful small talk.By the time we head to the hair and makeup section, however, it is close to 6:30 and getting crowded.what seemed like inspiration now seems like a loud reminder of everything I don’t have, can’t afford and haven’t done.I am approached about teeth whitening and immediately feel self-conscious.Looking at an advertisement for a spa-themed bachelorette party, I now silently berate myself for not considering Siberian mink eyelash extensions.The table for Weddingbells magazine feels like a lifeline.I follow you on Twitter!I exclaim, perhaps a bit over-excitedly to the perky girl at the booth.Looking uncertain, she hands me my free magazine.It is heavy, and I feel grouchy.A man appears out of nowhere to ask if I am interested in a wedding DJ.He silently withdraws.Lara quickly leads me away.We wind through the booths for men’s and women’s clothing.I am no longer interested in engaging with booth attendants.I just want to look.A woman asks when I am getting married.I say a touch sourly.The worst frickin’ weekend to get married.Confused, she asks if I have a dress; I lie and say yes.It would really be too late if you didn’t.Lara consoles me as we walk away.You have plenty of time.You can just walk in and buy something off the rack if you have to.Did I hear you say off the rack?We turn and a man in a suit is standing there, holding out a brochure.We can help you with all your off-the-rack needs.I picture him selling grooms to hapless women.Like everything else, his paraphernalia goes into my bag.We have four bags between the two of us; I start to worry that our hands will not be free when we are offered more cake.Browsing through invitations is one of the more practical parts of the evening and I wish I’d looked at those booths first, when my hands weren’t so tied (and my forehead so sweaty).I learn to differentiate among vellum, parchment, linen and cardstock.the attendant hastily adds, seeing the look on my face.I am thinking construction paper , I want to say.An entire side of the room is dedicated to registries and Sears and the Bay have monopolized that area (although let it be said that Breville made a quiet but strong statement by distributing breakfast treats with their new Waffle Creations appliance).No fewer than six attendants from Sears have offered to register me.When I bump into a woman dressed like a peacock advertising wedding entertainment I realize I am done.We each grab our last bite-sized piece of cake from a nearby vendor, head to the runway and collapse in chairs for the fashion show that’s about to start.The Shkanky girls have left the stage.The live band, Saturday Night Jive, starts a new song and a fresh crop of dewy faced young women appear, swathed in lace and tulle.They are followed by two small children, a boy and a girl who are about three years old.The boy is wearing a custom-fitted black suit.His shaggy dark hair sticks up at the back with a stubborn cowlick, and he looks happy and easygoing, if a little shell-shocked.The little girl is wearing a white organza flower girl dress and her hair is piled high on her head; it is clear she holds all the cards.Her face twisted in a scowl, she grabs her partner’s hand and marches him around the stage.He follows her obligingly.It is so very appropriate of what’s to come, I can’t help but laugh.The fascinator was out in full force at the royal wedding in 2011, but the fancy headpiece favoured by Kate Middleton is not welcome at the royal enclosure at the Royal Ascot horse race in June.Organizers said Wednesday that those hoping to rub shoulders with the queen at the horse racing meet would have to stick to hats.RelatedAllen Abel: Rapid Redux just can't loseAllen Abel: Death, drugs and the Sport of Kings’ dark sideIt s the latest in a series of rules aimed at tightening the dress code at Ascot, where organizers have tried to push back against the proliferation of provocative outfits, outrageous accessories and revealing tops.Other rules introduced or reinforced Wednesday include the requirement that women at the royal enclosure wear dresses that fall below the knee and that the men acco.